PUBLISHED
December 01, 2024
KARACHI:
Is age one of the first things we notice about other people? Or is the first thing that sparks our curiosity as we notice the appearance of a person? Undeniably, we notice, how they dress, how their eyes, face, height and overall appearance is, how they style their hair and how their overall body language is, if they are confident with themselves and how they carry their personality. Then by default we assume their age — a number in our heads for them. Sometimes we are correct but sometimes we aren’t as people can look surprisingly younger or older than they actually are. The point not quite driven here is, does age matter? Not really.
The other day I watched Vijay 69, a film about Vijay, a grumpy, foul-mouthed man looking for purpose in life. A loving family man, he has a few close friends despite being foul-mouthed and quick to pick fights. In a bid to reinvent himself and to achieve something in life, sixty-nine year old Vijay becomes a triathlon aspirant. The film is entertaining, and cleverly tackles the issues of ageism, societal expectations, and the quest for validation in one’s later years.
Vijay could be any older person around us. Here, I deliberately avoid using the word “elderly” as it brings to my mind, images of frail and feeble people in need of walking sticks, walkers and wheelchairs. Which is why I endeavour to be a strong proponent of physical fitness and exercise post mid-life, so that the only walking aid older people need are running shoes. But that is a story for another day.
I can bet my Adizero Adios Pro 3 [go google running shoes] that most of us have at least once in our lives either subjected someone to or have been subjected to ageism, a term coined in 1968 by Robert N. Butler, a gerontologist and aging pioneer.
Butler who authored a paper titled “Ageism: Another Form of Bigotry” introduced the term after observing community opposition to housing for older adults and noting similarities to racism and sexism. He described ageism as “the systematic stereotyping and discrimination against individuals based on their age.”
Interpersonal ageism is where people interact differently with each other based on their age. Let’s be honest. Have you never ever called someone senior the following or have been addressed to or referred to as old fogey, geezer, fuddy duddy, old prune, “satthya gaye hain” [have become demented], buddha, barray mian, qabar mein tangein latki hain [legs are hanging in the grave], uncle, aunty, chacha? Sounds pretty mean and quite derogatory.
For women, especially in our culture, it is even worse. If you are past 50 and a conformist, don’t bother to think for yourself anymore. People even as peripheral as your neighbours, kids’ in-laws, their neighbours, and their dogs will decide whether you should dye your hair or not, wear certain type of clothes and colours or not, wear make-up or not! But if you are a non-conformist, see you in the Zumba class for seniors, I’ll be the one with the pink highlights, to match my Adizero Adios Pro 3 – pink spark! Wish I could insert a smiling devil or wink emoji here.
Similar to racism and sexism, ageism involves holding negative stereotypes about people of different ages, and can affect people of all ages, but it’s often used to describe discrimination against the elderly.
Although, ageism is a form of discrimination that stems from a lack of knowledge, prejudice, and stereotypes, it is often not taken seriously and even considered one of the last socially acceptable prejudices.
Sadly, I have seen senior family members being treated as if they’re unintelligent, invisible, or expendable, being the brunt of jokes that imply someone is less valuable or worthy of respect. These cultural attitudes cannot be fully blamed in an environment where senior people are unable to find promotions or jobs because of their age. “Uncle, ab Allah, Allah karen! Kisi aur ko bhi chance dein! [Spend your time praying now and let someone else get an opportunity].” Using negative language when speaking to or about seniors and discouraging them from activity and action is not uncommon. and they are often rebuked for wanting to work more or achieve something.
More specifically, this is called institutional ageism where individuals are discriminated against on the basis of their age. This is propagated by laws, policies, and social norms as companies continue to refrain from hiring or promoting employees based on their age, add to that, limited access to training opportunities for employees based on their age, encouraging or forcing retirement for employees post 55 years of age.
The Age Discrimination in Employment Act of 1967 is a landmark legislation that prohibits employment discrimination against individuals who are 40 years of age or older in the US. In our country, 60 is the retirement age which has a dire affect on seniors. One day they are at work, the day concludes in a daze with a farewell party with cheesy speeches and awkward handshakes. The next day, you are at home, wondering which book to read, which friend to call and how to avoid a spouse waiting with a long things-to-do list.
Prior to retirement, senior employees are often subjected to discriminatory activities. They are excluded from meetings, pushed to sidelines and given less work. I find it quite discriminatory when a job applicant to provide their age (e.g., date of birth) during a job interview.
I can’t decide which particular one is the worst, but it is probably the third type known as self-directed ageism. This is a manifestation of societal and institutional ageism, where people develop a self-imposed negative attitude toward aging or one’s own age group. This invariably leads to unhappiness, which triggers bitterness, and a whole ugly cycle of negative behaviour is perpetuated. The WHO estimates that 6.3 million cases of depression worldwide can be attributed to the effects of ageism
Social media has probably played a prominent role in promoting ageist attitudes.
A study published in a 2013 issue of The Gerontologist reviews how older people were represented in Facebook groups. Apparently 84 groups that devoted to the topic of older adults were found, but most of these groups had been created by people in their 20s. Nearly 75 percent of the groups existed to criticise older people and nearly 40 percent advocated banning seniors from activities such as driving and shopping.
Younger people often assume that older individuals have “had their turn,” and should make way for the younger generations. They also feel that if resources are limited, spending on seniors should not be a priority. Another gripe is that those who are older should “act their age” and not try to “steal” identities of younger people or copy younger attitudes including things such as speech patterns and manner of dress.
Act their age? Isn’t it a modern-world idea that individuality knows no boundaries? I thought people of any age have the right to express themselves authentically, whether through their dress, speech, or attitudes. Instead of dividing everyone into generations, why not celebrate diversity and shared humanity to enable a stronger, more inclusive society.
Speaking of breaking boundaries, countless people around the world have shattered age stereotypes, proving that success and creativity have no expiry date.
Only recently, Shah Rukh Khan ranked 10th on the list of the top 10 most handsome men in the world, according to a scientific study by celebrity plastic surgeon Dr Julian De Silva. The study used the Greek Golden Ratio of Beauty Phi to assess facial symmetry and perfection. This ratio is a formula used in art and design to determine aesthetic perfection.
Hence, 59-year-old Khan scored 86.76 percent facial symmetry with several younger stars and models behind. So for those who want older adults to go fish, there is a whole list of inspiring late bloomers who made things happen for them past 50. Colonel Sanders opened his first friend-chicken franchise at age 62, Ruth Thompson launched Hugs Cafe in her late 50s. Tao Porchon-Lynch started her yoga teaching passion at 49, Gladys Burrill ran her first marathon at 86, Ida Keeling did her first mini-run at 67. Laura Ingalls Wilder started writing more seriously at age 48, Harry Bernstein started working on his first book when he was 93 years old, Peter Mark Roget started working on his thesaurus at age 61, and Grandma Moses started her painting career at 78.
The first 50 years of one’s life are spent doing stuff that is pre-decided for us more or less by others — birth, education, career, marriage. But past 50, is the part of life where one should be able to make decisions oneself. Now that responsibilities are mostly done with, one can now go for stuff that we always wanted to do but never found time and sometimes even money more. Retirement sometimes brings a chunk of money that can be used for stuff you always wanted to do, such as travel, learning something or beginning a personal project. There is immense potential in us past 50. Sky is still the limit.
Joe Biden also became US president at 78, but imagine becoming a comedian at 89 or writing your first book at 94. Margaret Ford, 94, author of A Daughter’ Choice didn’t know she would become Britain’s oldest debut author. Giuseppe Paternò, 97, is Italy’s oldest graduate. At 93, Paternò enrolled in his undergraduate degree in history and philosophy. Three years later, six weeks before his 97th birthday, he graduated top of his class and has now signed up for his Master’s in philosophy. Sister Madonna Buder, is a triathlete at 90. Lisel Heise, 101, is a politician elected to the council in her small German town of Kirchheimbolanden. Emmanuel Gasa, 76, set out to become an attorney at the age of 60. In 2015, he graduated alongside one of his granddaughters. How we view older people needs to change. A solidarity between generations will only help the society from devaluing or limiting the ability to benefit from what younger and older populations can contribute. On older people, the effect of this inclusion is health, longevity and well-being. And as Natalie Levant, 89, comedian who decided to do stand-up comedy at 81, says, if someone asks you to act your age, politely tell them to …!
